I sat on the toilet and my snot tickled the ground; partly because I have a stinking cold and partly because I was so utterly, completely, intrinsically disappointed. I would love to talk about how enriching it is to compete and what good experience it is and how I will learn from it but really I am just fricking angry. I sat, and I cried and honestly, the tears trickled down my face and reached all the way to the ground. There is nothing quite so painful as being a 28-year-old, unemployed apprentice with premature grey hair and no potential job prospects.
However, I am sure, objectively, one day I will think it is a good thing to be fourth. Unfortunately that day is not today. After about three days of very little sleep, a horrible cold and partner deficit, I am not exactly in the right head space to be magnanimous. The competition ran smoothly and we all came away feeling positive, there was only one potential disaster. Our souffles looked a little overdone on top and a brief panic ensued, we all ran around like headless chicken trying to get a second batch together and then we decided to trust the first batch. All in all, it was pretty relaxed and all of our food was presented on time.
I will write more detail when I have the energy to think straight. Despite the tears in the toilet incident it was an amazing experience to compete with two outstanding chefs and two fantastic friends.